The following is my summary and review of the Law of Obligation from the book "Maximum Influence" by Kurt W. Mortensen. This chapter of the book also has a parallel with the chapter "Reciprocity" from Robert Cialdini's persuasion classic "Influence". There are plenty of juicy examples and great tips for using this powerful law in this chapter, and much to be learned and used by almost anyone. I hope that the concepts I listed can be easily understood, tested and implemented by you as soon as possible and that they help you to become a person of extreme influence. So without further ado, here is: The Law of Obligation. Enjoy!
The Soldier in WWI Who Couldn't Resist the Law of Obligation
A German soldier during WWI once caught an enemy soldier off guard, eating his lunch alone in a trench, and he was easily captured. Not knowing what else to do, the soldier tore off a piece of bread and gave it to his captor. The German soldier was so surprised by the friendly gesture that he couldn't follow through with his assignment. Turning away from the soldier, he headed back in to neutral territory and on to face the wrath of his superiors.
Definition of the Law of Obligation
When you do something for someone else, they will feel a strong need, even a push, to return the favor.
If you give something to someone or do them a favor, in some cases, they will feel the need to repay your gift so overwhelmingly, that they will even end up dramatically exceeding the value of your original favor.
2 Keys to the Law:
- The law of obligation works whether or not the favor or gift you gave was desired by your receiver.
- The law of obligation can backfire if you shower a person with favors but don't give them a chance to repay you.
The pressure to reciprocate is strong enough that when people don't return a gift or favor, they are viewed with contempt and disgust. Accepting gifts or favors without attempting to return them is universally viewed as selfish, greedy, and heartless.
Examples:
The Man Who Lent His Car to a Teenager
A man ran out of gas once and a young man pulled over and took him to get gas at a nearby gas station. He then brought the man back to his car. Three weeks later, the young man asked if he could borrow the man's expensive car and the man said yes. He actually lent his EXPENSIVE CAR to a TEENAGER (who ended up recking his car) all because of the Law of Obligation.
The Nice Man and the Rude Man Selling Raffle Tickets
In one study, one man made a conscientious effort to befriend his targets before attempting to sell any raffle tickets to them, the other man was rude to his targets but bought them drinks before trying to sell them tickets. The rude man sold twice as much tickets as the nice man. The Law of Obligation beat niceness and friendliness.
Free Film in the Mail
A film-developing company used to send potential customers a roll of film in the mail along with a letter explaining that it was a free gift. Most of the receivers ended up processing their film through the company that sent them the film even though a number of local stores also could have processed the film for probably even lower prices.
The Law of Obligation and Marketing
Pre-giving is effective because it makes your target feel like they have to return the favor.
Some people feel discomfort at being indebted to someone else because it threatens their independence. The more indebted they feel, the more motivated they are to eliminate that debt.
The American Veterans Organization revealed that their usual 18% donation response rate nearly doubled when theor mailings included a small, free gift.
More Examples:
- Free samples at grocery stores
- Someone taking a potential client out to dinner or to play golf
- Offering free tire pressure check at tire centers
- Someone washing your car window at a stoplight whether you want them to or not
- People generating money at "free" car washes by asking for a donation after the service is rendered
- A carpet cleaner offering to clean your couch for free
- Door-to-door salespeople offering free brushes, free encyclopedias and free estimates
- People throwing parties in their homes, serving refreshments and giving away free Tupperware or other products
Fundraising and the Law of Obligation
The Hare Krisha's
To raise money for their organization, the Hare Krishna's would go to crowded, public places such as airports and give aways flowers to passersby. They would then, under no circumstances take the flower back but instead ask for a donation. Some of the people would throw away the flowers even after they donated to the Krishna's and some of the Krishna's would then patrol the trash cans and pick out more flowers so that they could give them away again.
Applying the Law of Obligation
Create a need or obligation in the mind of the other person.
What could you do, give or say that would create a sense of indebtedness in the mind of the other person?
Things you could give:
- A service of some sort
- Information or concessions
- Secrets
- Favors
- Gestures
- Compliments
- Smiles
- Gifts
- Invitations
- Attention
- Your time
Make sure that your gift or favor is perceived as altruistic and not as manipulative.
Take caution with the Law of Obligation, the use of it will backfire if your target sees your actions as a bribe. Feeling tricked, they will not be pressured to comply or reciprocate.
Honestly give value to others and they will be more under your influence.
Reciprocal Concessions
If you let someone persuade you in one area, they will be more likely to let you persuade them in another area.
Give a Favor, Expect a Favor in Return
Before a negotiation it is wise to offer some sort of gift. Make sure you offer the gift before and not during the negotiation, otherwise your gift will come across as bribery.
Make sure that your motives come across as a sincere effort to help the recipient rather than yourself.
Secrets Create Obligation: The Secret of Secrets
When you share something personal or private with another person, you create an instant bond and sense of obligation and trust with them.
Secrets create a sense of intimacy and make them feel important. They will feel compelled to share a secret with you.
Examples:
"Off the record, I think you should know..."
"I shouldn't be telling you this, but..."
Be sincere by showing that you really care and truly have their best interest at heart.
Caution
If you use the law of obligation to manipulate, you will lose your ability to persuade. People will catch on to your tactics, quickly declining any gifts you might offer or even refuse to be around you. Your gifts will be perceived as set-ups. People will know that it's only a matter of time before you come back around asking for that favor to be reciprocated.
Conclusion
Try giving to people. Give freely and give often. Give value wherever you can, and you will begin to build up equity. People will begin to give back to you in various and suprising ways. Try giving something to someone before you ask for something in return, no matter how big or small your request is and your success rate will increase dramatically.
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